Nobody said it was easy.
In between painting sessions, the critic in me is throwing down harsh comments on every stroke and every decision I make when I let the tip of the brush touch the paper. Sometimes I would pause and shake that inner voice out and concentrate on my work.
Still, it comes back with more gusto to bug me. “No! Looks cartoony! Start all over!” Exchanges of intrapersonal messages happen all inside my head as I create. It’s crazy to even talk about it. Crazier if it annoys me and makes me want to rip off the paper and start anew. But that never really happened.
I tend to question myself if this inner voice decides to pop out of nowhere. Why am I painting? Why am I holding a brush? Why am I so hard on myself lately? Why use that color? Why?
These series of questioning play inside my mind repeatedly. But the answer would always be translated in the painting. No words could fill in the gaps of my curiosity. But the paint that seeps through the paper is a constant reminder of the inaudible conversations I had with my inner self, that genius artist shaping me to become better.
The painting above is my 5th artwork after my decision to make use of the watercolor medium. Details are not much up to par but looks decent given the fact that the postcard-sized watercolor paper is not entirely generous when it comes to space. Only one brush was used to make this piece. (I need to say that because I just learned that you could actually use many brushes in watercolor painting! lol!)
This piece features an old cabbage vendor in the local Banaue market. In a cool, quiet afternoon, she is sitting there alone and pensive.
Then, I asked myself “Why is she so?”